The Proper Mental Podcast

Addiction, sobriety and brutal recovery with Lauren McQuistin

Welcome to episode 218 with Lauren McQuistin, who is a musician, opera singer and author of No Lost Causes Club, a memoir that explores what navigating sobriety looks like in our modern world.

She is also the creator behind one of my all-time favourite mental health related meme accounts @brutalrecovery.

While in her early twenties, Lauren was told that her life expectancy could be as low as twenty-five if she did not stop drinking and in this episode, she joins me to chat about her experiences with addiction and her journey towards sobriety.

We chat about growing up in rural Scotland, moving to America to become an opera singer and the mental health challenges that fuelled both her music career and her relationship with alcohol.

And we chat about low self-esteem, getting sober, staying sober, accepting help when you really don’t want to and how wonderful things happen when you realise that you’re just not that special.

Sobriety is big right now and, on the whole, that has to be a good thing but I think that how we talk about recovery often misses the mark. 

It’s not all amazing experiences, new friendships and an exciting new lifestyle – although it can be these things – it’s often messy and confusing and brutal and I love the way that Lauren talks about all the different sides of her experiences.

 And if all of that can be summed up with a great meme, then I am all for it!

Follow Lauren on social media @brutalrecovery

Here book is available to pre-order now at No Lost Causes Club by Lauren McQuistin – HarperCollins Publishers UK

You can connect with me on social media @propermentalpodcast or via www.propermentalpodcast.com.

You can support the show and help me to keep it independent and ad free by buying a coffee at
www.buymeacoffee.com/propermental

Another great way to support the show and spread the word is to rate, review and subscribe on whatever platform you get your podcasts from.

If you or anyone you know needs to find support in your local area, please go to www.hubofhope.co.uk

Thanks for listening!

Understanding anger and rethinking rage with Sam Parker

Welcome to episode 217 with Sam Parker, who is British GQ’s Site Director and someone who has worked in culture and lifestyle journalism for over 15 years.

He is also the author of Good Anger: How Rethinking Rage Can Change Our Lives and for this episode he joins me to chat about the good bits and the bad bits of getting angry.

We chat about his experiences with anxiety that led him to explore his relationship with anger and how these two complicated emotions can feed each other.

We chat about the purpose of anger, how to channel to it, why getting angry can be a positive thing and the mental and physical price to be paid by repressing it.

We also chat about the important difference between anger and aggression, people pleasing, racket emotions, spiritual bypassing and how anger expression differs between men and women.

As a mental health podcast, the topic of anger comes up a lot!  It’s a complicated and misunderstood emotion and it was amazing to chat to Sam about his book.  He spent years researching anger and had an incredible knowledge of the subject at his finger tips and I learned a lot, not just about anger, but also about my own relationship with anger.

Good Anger is available now: Good Anger: How Rethinking Rage Can Change Our Lives: Sam Parker: Green Tree

You can connect with Sam on Instagram @samparkeruk and X @samparkercouk

You can connect with me on social media @propermentalpodcast or via www.propermentalpodcast.com.

You can support the show and help me to keep it independent and ad free by buying a coffee at
www.buymeacoffee.com/propermental

Another great way to support the show and spread the word is to rate, review and subscribe on whatever platform you get your podcasts from.

If you or anyone you know needs to find support in your local area, please go to www.hubofhope.co.uk

Thanks for listening!

Masculinity and other male failures with Adam Farrer

Welcome to episode 216 with Adam Farrer, who is a writer, lecturer, mentor and editor.

Adam’s recent book Broken Biscuits and Other Male Failures is all about his struggles to live up to masculine expectations and in this episode, we chat about what it means to be a man and what it’s like to fall short of those ideals.

We chat about Adam’s route to becoming a writer, dealing with rejection along the way and following a creative path just for the love of it.

We chat about why he decided to write a book about his failures, the importance of healing emotional wounds, self-acceptance and the relief that comes from engaging with who you really are.

And we talk about Adams’ experiences with suicidal thoughts and how losing his brother to suicide forced him to get his own mental health in check and we chat about grief and feelings and loads of other things that men are often told they can’t talk about.

I absolutely loved Adam’s book.  It’s funny and it’s emotional and I saw so many of my own regrets, failures and cringe worthy moments in his stories.  

Vulnerability is something we talk about a lot in the mental health conversation and I think it’s in these everyday failures and mistakes and awkward moments where real vulnerability lies. 

It’s these messy parts of being a human, that when shared, are where we can really connect and feel seen and ultimately make some sort of peace with, that allows us to move on and grow and do things differently. 

That’s the sort of opening up and being vulnerable that really makes a difference and it was a joy to read the book and to chat to Adam about all of it.

More about Adam’s work here: www.adamfarrer.co.uk and @adamjfarrer

Broken Biscuits and Other Male Failures is available now Broken Biscuits: And other male failures by Adam Farrer – HarperCollins Publishers UK

You can connect with me on social media @propermentalpodcast or via www.propermentalpodcast.com.

You can support the show and help me to keep it independent and ad free by buying a coffee at
www.buymeacoffee.com/propermental

Another great way to support the show and spread the word is to rate, review and subscribe on whatever platform you get your podcasts from.

If you or anyone you know needs to find support in your local area, please go to www.hubofhope.co.uk

Thanks for listening!

Class inequality and working class culture with Dr Lisa McKenzie

Welcome to episode 215 with Dr Lisa McKenzie, who is a working class academic and anarchistic author.

She is a researcher and educator whose work relates to class inequality, social justice and British working class culture and a founding member of The Working Class Collective CIC.

Lisa grew up in Nottingham, in a mining community.  After she left school, she went to work in a local factory with her Mum and her aunties and never considered going to university because it was never on the table.  After her Mum passed away, she was inspired to take an access course at the age of 33, which led to a degree and then eventually becoming a lecturer.

Lisa’s work centres around class inequality because that’s what she’s experienced her whole life and, in this episode, she joins me to chat about the impact this can have on mental health.

We chat about the stigma that surrounds poverty and why no one wants to talk about class and we talk about the day-to-day challenge of just about scraping by, the myth of social mobility and how damaging it is to live with the unfairness of a system that is stacked against you.

We talk about the anger that comes from being ignored and let down, generational trauma and learned coping strategies and finding humour in misery as a way to cope.

And we also talk about some of the wonderful things that happen in working class communities, the unseen heroes of council estates, the community coming together and the important role of storytelling in the places.

You can’t talk about mental health without talking about class and it’s a part of the conversation that just isn’t happening.

This is an episode I have being trying to do for some time and it was incredible to get to chat to Lisa about her experiences and her work in this space.

It’s a big and complicated topic but we’re not scared by that here at Proper Mental and I’d love to hear what you take from it.

Follow Lisa on X @redrumlisa and Instagram @drlisa1968

Her own book is called Getting By: Estates, Class and Culture in Austerity Britain and she has also published Lockdown Diaries of the Working Class with The Working Class Collective and you can learn more at Work Class Collective

You can connect with me on social media @propermentalpodcast or via www.propermentalpodcast.com.

You can support the show and help me to keep it independent and ad free by buying a coffee at
www.buymeacoffee.com/propermental

Another great way to support the show and spread the word is to rate, review and subscribe on whatever platform you get your podcasts from.

If you or anyone you know needs to find support in your local area, please go to www.hubofhope.co.uk

Thanks for listening!

Why we don't have a health problem, we have a village problem with Cormac Russell

Welcome to episode 214 with Cormac Russell, who is an author and social explorer.

He is the Founding Director of Nurture Development and a member of the Asset-Based Community Development (ABCD) Institute.

Cormac has spent more than 20 years working all over the world training communities and professional organisations in Asset-Based Community Development and other strengths-based approaches.

In this episode I chat to Cormac about his strengths based approach to community, the four modes of change and how these things impact and support good mental health.

We chat about what 'helping' someone really means, the downsides to the traditional approach to supporting people who are struggling and what we can do differently as communities when we take an asset based approach and focus on what's strong instead of what's wrong.

And we chat about the role of storytelling, how structural change happens at the speed of trust and why 'we don't have a health problem, we have a village problem'.

It was inspiring to chat to Cormac and this is a powerful conversation about what is possible when communities come together and how this approach can change how we think and feel about mental health and mental illness.

https://www.nurturedevelopment.org/ 

https://www.nurturedevelopment.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/we-dont-have-a-health-problem-we-have-a-village-problem8259.pdf

You can connect with me on social media @propermentalpodcast or via www.propermentalpodcast.com.

You can support the show and help me to keep it independent and ad free by buying a coffee at
www.buymeacoffee.com/propermental

Another great way to support the show and spread the word is to rate, review and subscribe on whatever platform you get your podcasts from.

If you or anyone you know needs to find support in your local area, please go to www.hubofhope.co.uk

Thanks for listening!

Trauma Industrial Complex and the stories we tell ourselves about our wounds with Darren McGarvey

Welcome to episode 213 with Darren McGarvey, who is an author, musician, social commentator and journalist.

Darren grew up in Pollok on the south side of Glasgow, and has lived through extreme poverty, addiction and homelessness.  He wrote about his life and experiences in his first book ‘Poverty Safari’ which received critical acclaim for its insights into poverty and inequality.

His upcoming book ’Trauma Industrial Complex’ is due out in August and this episode I chat to Darren about the modern phenomenon of lived experience and sharing trauma stories online.

We chat about Darren’s experience of talking publicly about his life and what happened to him after “Poverty Safari” was an instant bestseller and he suddenly become well known for the things that he had been through.

We talk about how social media has produced a culture of oversharing, why telling your story can get in the way of recovery and how this type of advocacy might just have fuelled other modern trends like misinformation and harmful mental health advice.

And we talk about why people might feel the need to share their trauma, why there is such a market for it, the hidden consequences of barring your soul and things like victim hood, avoidance and addiction.

I’m a big fan of Darren’s work, in all its forms, so it was great to chat to him about his new book.  As someone who spends a lot of time, sharing stories and talking publicly about my own mental health, this was a fascinating conversation to be a part of!

You can listen now wherever you get your podcasts from and you can pre-order Trauma Industrial Complex: How Oversharing Becomes a Product in the Digital Age, wherever you get your books from!

Follow Darren on Instagram @darren_mcgarvey or X @lokiscottishrap

Learn more at www.darrenmcgarvey.com and preorder here Trauma Industrial Complex

You can connect with me on social media @propermentalpodcast or via www.propermentalpodcast.com.

You can support the show and help me to keep it independent and ad free by buying a coffee at
www.buymeacoffee.com/propermental

Another great way to support the show and spread the word is to rate, review and subscribe on whatever platform you get your podcasts from.

If you or anyone you know needs to find support in your local area, please go to www.hubofhope.co.uk

Thanks for listening!

Exploring intimacy, identity and ocd on the stage with Tana Sirois

Welcome to episode 212 with Tana Sirois, who is an actor, theatre maker and coach who is currently touring a one woman show called UnTethered, an autobiographical comedy that follows a queer, demi sexual woman with obsessive compulsive disorder as she attempts to transcend her fears so that she may finally experience what it’s like to feel safe and loved.

Tana is originally from the States but it was while studying acting at university in Liverpool that she first started to experience problems with her mental health.  Despite struggling for many years, she didn’t receive an official diagnosis of OCD until the age of 32.

In this episode I chat to Tana about her love of acting, her time here in Liverpool, what was going on in her life when she first started to experience mental illness and how OCD has impacted her throughout her life.

We chat about the selfishness of recovery, updating your language as you get better and how mental illness impacts all aspects of identity.

We also chat about Tana’s show UnTethered, the vulnerability of exploring mental illness, intimacy and sexual identity in front of an audience and why that’s important.

Tana is getting ready for some dates in London and Brighton before taking the show to Edinburgh and you can learn more about the show @untethered_the_play.

I’m a big fan of mental illness being portrayed on the stage.  It’s a powerful way to bring the realities of this stuff to people’s attention and really connect and bring out the emotions and complexities of mental health so it was wonderful to explore all of that with Tana in this episode.

Her website is www.tanasirois.com

You can connect with me on social media @propermentalpodcast or via www.propermentalpodcast.com.

You can support the show and help me to keep it independent and ad free by buying a coffee at
www.buymeacoffee.com/propermental

Another great way to support the show and spread the word is to rate, review and subscribe on whatever platform you get your podcasts from.

If you or anyone you know needs to find support in your local area, please go to www.hubofhope.co.uk

Thanks for listening!

Grief grifting with Owen Williams (The Tubs\Ex-Void)

Welcome to episode 211 with Owen Williams, who is the singer and guitarist in The Tubs.

He is also a vocalist and guitarist in Ex-Void and the drummer in Sniffany and The Nits and other things in other bands as well, all under the banner of the London based, music collective Gob Nation.

In this episode I chat to Owen about his experiences with OCD and the mental breakdown that he was going through while writing songs for The Tubs wonderful second album ‘Cotton Crown’ which was released earlier this year.

The cover of the record is a black and white image of Owen as a baby with his Mum, who died by suicide in 2014 and we chat about this very specific type of grief and also how people behave around you after you lose someone to suicide.

We chat about being in a band, drinking on tour and the realities and challenges of doing music or anything creative as a job.

And we chat about intrusive thoughts and compulsions, the guilt and shame that often come with these things and also how they are fed by the societal pressure to be morally perfect all of the time.

Cotton Crown is definitely one of my albums of the year already, it’s a wonderful record and it’s perfect for the summer.  It was great to chat to Owen all about it!

@_the_tubs

@gob_nation

‘We’re like a frat house’: meet Gob Nation, south London’s oddball music collective | Music | The Guardian

You can connect with me on social media @propermentalpodcast or via www.propermentalpodcast.com.

You can support the show and help me to keep it independent and ad free by buying a coffee at
www.buymeacoffee.com/propermental

Another great way to support the show and spread the word is to rate, review and subscribe on whatever platform you get your podcasts from.

If you or anyone you know needs to find support in your local area, please go to www.hubofhope.co.uk

Thanks for listening!

Rosie Viva is completely normal and totally fine

Welcome to episode 210 with Rosie Viva, who is a model, presenter, author and an ambassador for Bipolar UK.

Rosie has experienced various mental health challenges from a young age and was originally misdiagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

Despite this she built a successful career as a model which took her all over the globe, working with some of the world’s biggest brands but in the background her mental health was often moving through cycles of manic highs and extreme lows.

In 2018, Rosie was arrested after she caused Stansted Airport to evacuate all its waiting passengers during a psychotic episode.  She spent the next 3 months under section and was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

In this episode I chat to Rosie about her early experiences with mental illness and what was happening in her life in the build up to being hospitalised.

We chat about shutting down Stanstead Airport and going to hospital and we chat about how she went about rebuilding her life after she was discharged.

We also chat about the shame and stigma around being under section, accepting the diagnosis of bipolar, adapting to the lifestyle changes that come with staying well, relearning how to socialise and the sadness that comes with being diagnosed at a young age and missing out on some of the usual experiences that young people have.

Rosie has written about her experiences in her new book ‘Completely Normal and Totally Fine: My Life with Bipolar Disorder’ which is due out next week.  I was lucky enough to get an early read and it’s an incredibly brave and important book that will resonate with anyone who has been affected by mental illness.

Connect with Rosie on social media @rosieviva

Learn more about her book here: Completely Normal and Totally Fine: My Life with Bipolar Disorder: Rosie Viva: Bloomsbury Tonic

You can connect with me on social media @propermentalpodcast or via www.propermentalpodcast.com.

You can support the show and help me to keep it independent and ad free by buying a coffee at
www.buymeacoffee.com/propermental

Another great way to support the show and spread the word is to rate, review and subscribe on whatever platform you get your podcasts from.

If you or anyone you know needs to find support in your local area, please go to www.hubofhope.co.uk

Thanks for listening!

The neuroscience of mental health with Dr Dean Burnett

Welcome to episode 209 with Dr Dean Burnett, who is a neuroscientist, lecturer and author.

Dean is currently an honorary research fellow at Cardiff Psychology School and has also worked as a psychiatry tutor and lecturer at the Cardiff University Centre for Medical Education.

He is the author of several acclaimed books about brains, neuroscience, emotions and mental health.

And this episode is a little bit different.

I wanted to do an episode about mental health and mental illness from the perspective of the human brain.

I often focus on society and the things around us that impact our mental health, so for this conversation I wanted get some understanding of what’s actually happening to our brains when our experiences, circumstances or environment are affecting us mentally.

I thought a lot about common themes and threads from this show over the years and I asked Dean things like

What is happening in the brain when we get lonely and why is isolation so harmful to us?

Why do brains like nature so much?

How does sitting with our emotions actually help our brains to process them?

Why do our brains choose to feel anxious even, when we know that there is nothing to be anxious about?

And loads of other stuff too.

Dean was incredible to chat to! It was absolutely fascinating to be able to explore his extensive, brain related knowledge and we had a lot of fun too.

Connect with Dean on social media @garwboy and learn more at www.deanburnett.com

You can connect with me on social media @propermentalpodcast or via www.propermentalpodcast.com.

You can support the show and help me to keep it independent and ad free by buying a coffee at
www.buymeacoffee.com/propermental

Another great way to support the show and spread the word is to rate, review and subscribe on whatever platform you get your podcasts from.

If you or anyone you know needs to find support in your local area, please go to www.hubofhope.co.uk

Thanks for listening!